If you are wondering.......

If anyone is wondering.....we are doing fine! I am eating better (ok, a lot less), sleeping well, trying not to stress over much, keeping myself busy with work (THANK YOU work friends and parents!)...and keeping busy at home redecorating and switching Lyza's room into Madisyn's and Madisyn's into Lyza's room! Whew....that was/is a task. Still minor touches to put on it, but that will come with time.

Yes...I have days I hurt, a lot. The only thing that keeps me going are God, Faith and my girls (family). I just pray daily....lots of times per day....I keep my Faith as I did when we went to Guatemala to get Lyza. Other than that, there is not much I can do. I can only change me...and I'm doing that for the better. No one can do that for me.....I must do it myself...no one can make my decisions for me, only me. I'm 36, and I think it's about time I stepped up to the plate, set some boundaries and follow them. It isn't going to be an easy ride....not by any means. But I have FAITH....and I HOPE!

So.....Lyza and I are fine! We are having fun at home with her new kitchen set (she cooks up a storm), playing games, going for slushies, watching movies, reading books, singing/dancing (her favorite right now) and just being silly. These are the most precious years.........15 is great, I love my 15 yr old to death, more than life itself....but she already knows it all :-) Lyza is only 4 - She knows nothing yet so I am savoring those moments!